On Going Forward
Self Portrait and Words by Euni
Everything we do holds some sort of longing for some sort of validation.
An escape from the self-imposed torcher that each of us makes. Creates. To hold us steady. Still. In a place of limbo because moving forward is foreign and moving backward is too familiar. And if we stand still long enough we can pretend to believe we have a sense of control.
But no matter how steady we hold our own pace, no matter how deeply we sink our feet into the sand, we always come face to face with the fact that there is nothing that will stop the world from spinning. And there is little that actually needs to touch our own two hands. That the validation we’ve been aching for will never come from another woman or man. And here we are, standing still, alone, to figure out what it is that our souls demand.
There is a rawness in realization that steals our very own breath. A vulnerability in seeing that our secret visions will never be met.
So inside we must go.
To retreat.
To hibernate.
To break down.
To bare down.
To unbelieve the lies we’ve allowed our minds to make.
Deeper inside we must go if we are brave enough. Breaking down walls and feeling pain that dressed in the same garments as an old, familiar friend. Begging for mercy for the agony to come to an end.
No matter the fear that unfamiliarity might unfold, there is a torment that lingers in every story that remains untold.
So we face two options:
Give into being afraid.
Or dive deeper into all that which brings us pain.
Neither hold certainty other than the truth that one will have to trudge through trenches. Outside of the certainty that uncertainty unfolds. Admitting, that by simply moving forward we free ourselves of grips of the past. And to continue going onward, we can look, but we cannot turn back.
Words by euni
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